Dark night, hold tight.

I guarantee that at this rate my hearing will surely cease to exist by the time I'm 30.
I need to start buying earplugs when I go to concerts, but honestly would I ever do it? Probably not.
To hear the snares and bass beating against my chest, it's the only way I can connect to my inner well-being... but I would probably need to take it easy a bit though.

These past couple of months I've seen:
Lydia, All the Day Holiday, Blink-182, Emarosa, DGD, Tides of Man, Closure in Moscow, Senses Fail, The Fall of Troy, The Dear Hunter, Thursday, Brand New, As Tall As Lions, Mute Math....
and a few others...

I love my life. I couldn't imagine life without music.
At all.

Sorry this entry had no specific meaning to it, but I had to write about something...
It's been awhile, blog. Thought we'd catch up.

City of delusion.

Time is ticking. Time is sinking. We're murderers of time.

"We find ourselves in little boxes watching little boxes. We see an edited version of human life, targeted on alienating us as individuals, to distract us from the seedy underbelly of politics and business."
- Uzbekistan, The Sound of Animals Fighting

I live in a town where everyone is exactly the same, a town stuck in little boxes. To me Johns Creek is another version of Agrestic. Living in a town where everyone has money, a strict community staff, stuck up parents, and pot-heads.

I really need to finish up my credits and move out of this place. My heart is still destined for the University of Miami, but I doubt I'll be there anytime soon. Which leads me back to square one. I have no absolute idea where I want to go, and let alone what I want to do. I keep changing my mind. I want to live in the city, a town that's always busy; a town with a gorgeous nightlife. I can deal with traffic, it's annoying, but I'll make it work. Either way, I hope that I figure out where I want to be soon. I need to start being sure of what I want.

Moving on...
I'm just waiting for the Summer solstice.
This Earth needs a little lean toward the "sol".
I need some sun in this town. I'm tired of the strong winds, unexpected snow, and week long rainfalls. I just want to be outside. I miss the outdoors.

I've got friends...

... In all the right places.

I'm utterly grateful for my friends.
As much of a drag I can be sometimes, it's nice to know that they'll still be here for me no matter what. Jill, Jeana, and Becca are a big part in my life. Each one of them carries a certain trait that I love about them. Jill is talented; she's a dreamer, a thinker, and she's unique above all levels. We're alike in many ways. Jeana is my ultimate go-to girl. When I'm bored, I just simply drive a good 15 minutes to her house. We can watch movies, eat, or spur up a random topic to talk about. Let alone she's hilarious. She's the youngest, yet THE most mature out of the group. Becca, she's so full of life. She's the party girl and the reason why my summer was unforgettable. This girl can turn a shitty day into lively experience. All together they're my girls, and I wouldn't trade them in for anything.


...Don't think I forgot everyone else! ...
Sarah, Erica, Kait, KD, "Lee's apartment crew", and the Duluth kids....
They all mean so much to me.

Even if I don't hang out with some of them as much, I still care for them dearly.
Nothing is EVER going to change that!
I'll never forget all the memories we've shared.
Hopefully they'll be many more to come.

It's only a memory.

We're just two cold hearts, that speak nothing but a dark language.

A language so discreet and distant, yet we lingered for each others touch.

As much as I want to forget, I can't... it's as if my temporal lobes seem to have permanently engrave these series of memories we shared. Our sporadic enticements seem to question me more as time progressively goes by.

The inane part is that we've never had the impulse to expressively talk about it. Our secretive personalities took its toll on us. I'm just too reserved and hard to read when it comes to being affectionate. I can't help it, but it's who I am.

In the back of our minds we'll always remember our amorous moments. However, we're both reluctant to admit it. Instead we'll have our tantalizing rendezvous at peculiar times of the month.

Is it weird enough I would prefer a heartless dark language instead of becoming an adherent to love?

So, tonight I'll sit and think to myself why a person like him could mean so much to me in a pessimistic way. For the most part, I can't even stand the whole situation. I want to end this once and for all, but a little voice inside my head refuses me to do so.

I know it's not love. I haven't really learned to love yet.

Maybe it's just an addiction.
He's become a drug to me.
A drug I swore to myself I'd never consume.
Nevertheless, temptation got the best of me and won.
I surrendered to its infidelities.

I mean, it’s only just a memory.
No big deal or anything.
It'll wash away and annihilate itself as time passes by...



... Right?...